So ya Wanna be a Sonic Fanfiction Writer?
by Solis Knight
Summary: It's a tough world out there, with stories disappearing within a day. What can you do about it? In this guide, Sonic tries desperately to clean up the fanfiction lists and make the world a better place! Good money is on failure, however...


So ya wanna be a Sonic Fanfiction Writer?

"So you want to be a Sonic Fanfiction writer, eh?" Sonic said to his enormous fanbase, who had literally lined the streets trying to get into the Premiere. 4Kids had called the entirety of the Fanfiction authority to the event, so naturally SEGA had to intervene and break the laws of physics once more (not that it mattered to them) and create a building a hundred times larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside.

The fans were sprawling before the podium where Sonic stood, addressing the committee of authors. The classics were there, from the originator of the obscenely popular Truth or Dare model, Jackattack, to less notable authors such as the initiates. They were all here, all fighting to be heard, their already written stories desperately clawing at the gates trying to flood the Sonic fanfiction lists.

"Settle down!" Sonic screamed, trying to get the attention of them all. There were simply too many for this to be possible… but somehow the chatter began to subside. Sonic internally sighed… this would be a long day. He could see, the majority of these 'authors' were only children, or worse… smut writing teenagers. He shuddered slightly, before beginning.

"Alright. Fanfiction staff has called this assembly together to address the ever-growing problem that has plagued the Sonic list since its inception." Of course, most of the crowd knew what this problem was. It was the reason they were tempted to leave, to switch to other lists, other franchises… The reason they groaned every time someone mentioned the name Sonic the Hedgehog.

"As many of you know, the lists are daily flooded by aspiring writers, stories that quickly sink to the bottom of the list until they perish without a trace. Daily, these stories crop up, almost literally spamming the boards, and sometimes not even _half_ of the day's catch of stories are worth the read!" Naturally, the crowd roared. A lot of them with indignation. Most of the kids had been proud of their accomplishment, of the two or three reviews they had gotten, giving them encouragement. However, there was a large portion of the crowd cheering, finally seeing a hope to end the long torment of beginner writers.

"To address this issue," Sonic continued over the roar of the crowd, which naturally did not subside in the least. "The fanfiction staff has appointed me as the leader of a committee to provide a sort of 'guide' to these writers, so that their stories could gain some worth, and in the end they could improve." This quieted some… although some people loudly complained that some of these people couldn't possibly improve from such garbage. Naturally, these people were silenced without further ado.

"So I shall be verbally giving you a guideline to posting on the Fanfiction boards! Don't talk over me, or SEGA will glue your mouth shut. And yes, they can do that." The crowd silenced themselves. "Good."

Sonic pulled out a sheet of paper from under the podium. It turned out to be the first out of many in a long guide to posting Fanfiction. He began to read from it verbatim.

**Sonic T. Hedgehog's Guide to Authoring Fanfiction:**

**So you've decided to start writing, eh? It's only natural. After all, it is a perfectly normal tendency to release emotion, whether through writing, fighting, or seeing therapists. However, some people tend to have better skill than others when it comes to this process… Through this guide, I will attempt to help you aspiring writers be the best you can be!**

**Step 1: Story and Plot**

**There are several commonly used plot devices among Sonic fanfictions. For example, there are the known clichés, such as Sonic rebuking Amy's attempts to go on a date with him, leading Amy to leave. This concept is older than the Stone Age, and has been seen enough times to make most readers wish to puke. It is recommended that writers stay away from such concepts that have been overly used.**

**Examples include:**

**-Sonic and Amy relationships, where Sonic rejects Amy and Amy commits suicide**

**-Tails, through one process or another, turning female or having already been female, and coping**

**-Truth or Dare formats: Not only are they common, they are against the rules of the site**

**-Q&A characters: while not commonly seen now, they have been popular, and have become a cliché**

**-Story of an OC: While creating your own characters is both original and exciting, they often do not do justice to the Sonic cast. In other lists, where these are not so common, they are more accepted, but Sonic Fanfiction has been bogged down by OC stories for a majority, rather than a minority, of stories.**

**-I (the author) enter the world of sonic somehow and try to fit in!: This is a story format that has also become a cliché, and is basically just dreams on a word document. In other words, they are most often not good reading material.**

**There are also many **_**many**_** other examples other than these, but these form the majority of the far too commonly seen genres. Yes, I know, these stories are often fun to write, but that's what makes them unreadable. With far too many people writing them, not only will your awesome ideas not be seen for long, but you will often be unable to find original plots within the dense sea of the above clichés.**

**Step 2: Title and Summary:**

**Okay! You've found yourself an original plot! No doubt it is a thrilling tale full of adventure, romance, mystery, suspense, and thrilling action… You wouldn't be posting it if it wasn't! Right? Right…? Right. So, now that you have this wonderful story, you need to post it. I will assume you have already created your fanfiction account, customized your avatar and profile, and are ready to submit.**

**Once you've got your document ready, head to Publish, and go to Document Manager. Follow the simple instructions, browse through your hard drive's files for your precious story (I do hope that by now you know where it is) and select it. Name it whatever you like, your many fans will never see it. Click submit.**

**Head to Publish again. Click on New Story. If this is your first time, take a few minutes to read the guidelines. Don't worry, we'll wait.**

**Okay, so you've read the guidelines. If your story does not adhere to them, for any reason… (Truth or Dare formats, anyone?) then you should revise your story to make them more acceptable. And please spellcheck. Please do. F7 in Microsoft Word… burn that hotkey in your memory. Now, once you have agreed to these guidelines, go to New Story once more. This time you will be able to click your category… Naturally, you'll want to write all about me! Sonic the Hedgehog!**

The crowd booed. Sonic ignored them.

**In any case, once you have selected your category, you reach the all-important screen for your story information. Here's the part no-one tells you… This is the place where **_**YOU**_** decide whether or not people will click on **_**YOUR**_** story over everyone else's. You can select a title, write a summary, select a genre, select a rating, select a language, there's no end to what you can do here!**

**We're going to focus on the important ones. Title first.**

**Tell me, would **_**YOU**_** read a story titled "Sonic goes to the zoo!"? Unless you're five or six years old, I sincerely doubt it. There is no reason to use such an absurd title for a story. By now, your thrilling tale of excitement and heroism is probably stewing in the back of your mind, unable to contain itself in waiting to be posted… but what to name it?**

**To come up with a good name, if your story idea did not supply you with a name to boot, you should first consider your story. If you're thinking of titling a story with the words "Truth or Dare" in it, you should just format your hard drive right now and save yourself the humiliation.**

"Seriously people, we've had enough with the torturing." Sonic added. Someone threw a tomato.

**Sometimes it helps to reread your story, so you can really **_**feel**_** what it means to you. Good stories come with good, gripping titles in almost all cases. Names like "Fading" and "Mystique" are good ones, they make the reader ask "What's fading? What has such mystique?" And then they look to the summary. Odds are, if a potential reader sees a title so informally named as "Truth or Dare", they will immediately skip over it.**

**If you want to really hook in your readers, your title should at least have something to do with your story. Readers don't like it when a story is titled "A spring's dream" and neither a drop of water nor a beginning season are even mentioned. Not one bit.**

**Now, this step has probably put you in a pickle. After all, most of you were probably considering posting a story detailing your adventures in the Sonic universe, or consecutive tortures of the characters at the bidding of the reviewers, despite my warnings. Perhaps you should take a few minutes, or even a couple days to think of a suitable title, no?**

**Alright! You've gotten a good title! Now you need to think… what is my story **_**really**_** about? What can I write as a summary? Let's operate under the assumption that the title of this example is "Mystique".**

**If I were writing a story titled "Mystique", I would most definitely be writing it about Rouge. After all, who else could fit such a perfect role? Boom. Character down, title down, I already have an idea for a plot. It is a mysterious tale of Rouge's underground trafficking of pleasure slaves underneath the sprawling metropolis of Station Square. Good. Nice plot, nice title, nice character chosen for the role, I have almost all of the elements for good fiction right here.**

**So I have just finished my story. It is a grand epic journey of Rouge through her own psyche as she realizes that what she does is wrong… and yet at the end, she finds that she does not care, even as she sells Cream to the commander of G.U.N. It is perfect.**

"Yeah, I'm good at everything I do!" Sonic boasted, dodging what turned out to be the eightieth tomato tossed at him in a row. In truth, they had run out of tomatoes long ago, so they switched to throwing ketchup. Bottles really hurt when they hit you…

**So I submit my document, title the story, and now I'm met with a pickle. What should I submit as a summary? Well, I could go with the generic route. I could simply say,**

"**Rouge explores the deep underbelly of her own slave trade underneath Station Square."**

**Short… Sweet… Not elegant, but who cares? It's not dressed up or anything, but a reader has a good chance of clicking on it. Now, if I had done **_**this**_**…**

"**Just a story I thought up about if Rouge owned a slave trade."**

**I could be guaranteed that readers would skip over my thrilling tale. A useful proverb: Even the greatest fruit of the tree is tasteless if it cannot be seen. If people do not read your story, they will never know its greatness. Another great tip: SPELLCHECK. Write the summary out in a text format with spellcheck beforehand, even if it is in a browser: A sure sign of beginners writing is misspelled words in a title or summary.**

**Another tip… There are several clichéd summaries that have been used throughout the ages. Such as "What if…" or "Character does action and result, so now Rogue must face her own self in the harsh buisness of slayvery." Both of these are bland, tasteless, and likely to have their stories skipped over. Especially note in the second example that several words, even Rouge's name, have been misspelled.**

**An example of a compelling summary would not be basic. It would not spell anything out to a potential reader, in fact it would do the opposite. A good summary is compelling, it makes the reader question, really great ones even have readers questioning their own beliefs before they even open the story. In my earlier example, I would use a much better summary as follows:**

"**They crawl like ants in their tunnels under the city… Insignificant slaves to their Queen. What morality can there be in a profession that trades people like coins? Does it even matter?"**

**I can tell… some of you have read that one twice or even three times. Whether you're trying to see how I came up with it, or are trying to extract some vital piece that you are missing in your own summaries, it does not matter. What is important is that your summary does not HAVE to be this good. In fact, so long as it is up to par with my first example, a story could survive.**

**Step 3: One Shot or Multi-Chaptered Epic?**

**One of a few gripping questions that will haunt an author of Fanfiction is whether or not to leave it at that. To simply let greatness be, and know that you have done well, or to continue… And add, and improve.**

**In truth, there is no real answer. Naturally, one shot stories will not last long on a list, especially a list like Sonic fanfiction, where in the course of twenty four hours a story will disappear. However, perfection is sometimes ruined by continuing, and quite often authors cannot find the effort it takes to devote to their story to continue it. This decision is really up to the author, for better or for worse.**

Sonic stood there, as the audience waited for him to continue. It was odd that the crowd would be so desperate to hear more… but that was all that was on the pamphlet. Nervous that the crowd would rush the podium with sharper implements than tomatoes, he quickly made himself scarce. If there was one thing besides water and Amy that scared him… it was novice Sonic fanfiction writers. They had a tendency to crossdress him, to torture him and even place him in Slash pairings. It was truly a sick world out there... But hopefully it would become just one tiny bit better now that he had delivered this message:

"**Sonic Says: If you post it, readers will come!"**


End file.
